It’s no secret that tweenagers (children around the ages of 10-14) are hard work. They’ve started secondary school and now consider themselves adults, ready to tell you when you’re wrong or when you’re being unfair and discovering new and confusing things about the world every day.

Other kids are real influences on them, some of them know a lot more than they should about adult concepts and the playground is filled with gossip about what things mean and who has done what. Tweenagers are always attempting to prove themselves to their peers and when they come home they don’t want to talk to you about what they’ve been up to.

You can get in your tweenager’s good books though and the first step is to listen. In the rare moments you can get them to talk at the dinner table – and keeping up such a routine will ensure you are always kept in the loop – you’ll discover what they’re currently in to (remember, this can change within a day so listen closely) and try to engage with them.

Google is your friend when they tell you band names and films that are coming out and you want to have the faintest clue what they are talking about. Don’t try to sound like you know what you are talking about though, they’ll call you out straight away.

Little treats every now and then to show you do listen will help you get in your tweenager’s good books, they don’t have to be anything extravagant but are a good way of showing them that you take notice (and will give them something to show off to their friends – yep, you’ll be the cool parent).

You can pick up popular Paul Frank clothes from LamaLoLi – tweenagers have a fascination with brands – or some of their favourite snacks as little gifts if they’re doing well at school or have been on good behaviour. You’re not buying their affection, simply showing that you care about what they enjoy and rewarding them for their successes.

Tweenagers are starting to shape their identity, they want to appear grown up but they still need your support and guidance, to let them know every now and then what’s appropriate for them. Let them have some say when making big family decisions, knowing that they can voice their opinion and have some sway will definitely get you in their good books.

Don’t try to squash their individuality too much or you’ll probably experience dangerous rebellion, instead offer some gentle guidance if you think they are taking things too far, they will thank you for it later when they don’t feel embarrassed by their risqué outfit choice or can’t cope with watching that scary film.

Simply being there with an open mind is one main way to get in the good books, they will be going through physical changes and learning about sexuality and might panic every now and then.

Don’t appear awkward when talking about these things, think back to your tweenage years and what you wish you had been told by your parents to save them any confusion. However, it is important to take note of how much you tell them, too much information can be a bad thing.

Above all don’t take their mood swings and blunt responses to your questions personally, they’ll realise later that what they did was wrong and when they come back to you apologetic you can let them know they were in the wrong. Keeping your anger in check teaches them to do the same and saves arguments down the line.