It has been far too long an absence since I have put digits to keyboard for this wonderful site. There have been articles started and good to go but not sent. I now, though, find myself compelled to share the following; not in a new-age, self-help manner, but as a (hopefully lucid) cataloging of some relative and simple truths.
In part, it is apt that this was inspired by the day of joy and glory which was the wedding of the only other person save for my wife I refer to as the boss- the catalyst and head honcho of the daily wonder which is StyleNest, who married an old, dear friend.
An amazing weekend was rounded off when I got off the train from London back to Edinburgh; as I waited at the taxi rank – tired, jaded, happy and a little fragile I saw two friends who had shared the day being greeted by their kids and grandparents by the platform. The radiant joy and contentment on all faces assembled was beautiful and profound, even from a distance, and I was privileged to witness it.
Which brings me to the rub. Much as I have (and still will) catalogue the minutiae and absurdities of fatherhood and life in general, it has been some time since something a little more universal; dare I say profound.
Here it is; the metronomic, set your watch by it, sure as day follows night truth – love. The most bafflingly complex, but absurdly simple thing in the world.
Amidst all the travails, the perpetual tiny victories and defeats of the day-to-day, there is something much more wonderful at work.
As a parent there are times when the love for our kids can feel almost debilitating and terrifying. The weight of responsibility at all there is in the world, and an aching dread at imagined threats to their happiness and safety. At least at the moment of writing this, it’s really not. It’s perfect, crystalline, life affirming, transformative and glorious.
Despite my desire for solitude and a book at times, it’s transparently clear that we cannot be our best in isolation. We are most content, most fulfilled, and simply better when with those we love and who love us. Through loss, absence and challenge, the reality of it can preserve and bolster us like nothing else.
Another dear friend inadvertently lent me (I stole) a salutation; blessings. More often than not he says it with an invisible, joyous exclamation mark. It strikes me that it’s more than apt though; it’s exactly what those we hold dear are. It’s certainly what our children are, and this is something that all of us can do with remembering, even when they are being their most demanding and challenging.
Love and blessings to mine, and love and blessings to you and yours.