As any woman who has either breastfed or passed the age of 30 knows, over time one’s assets start to lose some of their, how can I put it – pertness. Thankfully, it happens at a time where you stop caring quite so much about these things. Sometimes, nature, you’re not as cruel as we sometimes allege…

But I still care a bit. And being a lover of beauty potions (as well as an over-30 ex-breastfeeder) I have been trying out some creams that promise to stop my treasures become spaniels’ ears by this time next year.

First up is Rodial’s Boob Job (£85), which the brand is quick to point out ‘is not proven to offer the same results as a surgical breast enhancement’. Of course it’s not. But it does offer plumper, dewier skin in the whole bust and décolletage region, and is damn luxurious to use.

Straight after I stopped breastfeeding, I dived into Pupa AEF Mutlivitaminic Breast Enhancer Cream (£48), which is ‘recommended for women who have small breasts, or when breasts are ‘emptied due to sudden loss of weight or after pregnancy and breastfeeding periods’. Emptied? Tell it like it is, why don’t you. Anyway, the cream is gunkily gorgeous and certainly made that ‘area’ feel very nourished, skin wise. I wouldn’t say I had gone up a cup size but I’m pretty impressed.

A bit more purse-friendly is Bosom Buddy by Boo Boo (£18.99) which comes in a cute, retro style tube and smells very light and almost sherberty. I like the fact that a) it’s under 20 quid, and b) it contains Argan Oil. A pleasure to use.

I also really like Thalgo’s Buste et Décolleté (£41.20), not just because it has ‘Tenseur, Repulpant’ written on the bottle. Even if you don’t speak French that says so much. It also smells slightly of ginger and uses ‘cellular contraction’ technology. Light – and therefore great if you’re in a rush to get dressed.

Finally, one I am about to try, which comes from the Ultimo brand – who you would imagine know a fair thing about cleavages. Boobs Plus (£39.50) is part of the new USculpt range and promises to ‘re-plump, lift and firm as it assists in volumising the bust for more voluptuous, curvier contours’. There will be no spaniels’ ears here, thank you very much.