Birthday presents can be a difficult thing to buy so Theo decided to give me something completely unique this year- a baby head-butt. What originated as an accidental night-time knock seemed to be causing a lot of grief the next day, when I struggled to even put my sunglasses on because of the ache. We dismissed it, clearly underestimating the toughness of a toddler. The celebrations were in full swing a week later with a CT scan to investigate my newly broken nose, and ‘manipulation’ of said wonky conk to put it back into place. A merry cocktail or two followed, and I’m not talking Mojitos.

Mr T redeemed himself with lots of cuddles and a ‘Canny Good’ card, flashing the words ‘I Luv me Mam’ across it.  This was bought from Geordie Slogan experts Wot Ma Like, a company specialising in products bearing the local lingo of Manchester, Cumbria, Liverpool and Northumberland (to date). After our niece was born I sent my brother and sister-in-law one of their ‘Ee worra bonny bairn’ cards and I’ve been hooked ever since. Definitely an inspired choice for happy occasions.

Nose-gate continues, with bruising that now matches the neon yellow top my friend bought me. According to this month’s Vogue it IS the shade of the season, thanks to celebrity endorsement from Beyonce and Jessica Chastain. Ever the perceptive fashionista, Lyla came home from school today sporting her own take on the canary trend, courtesy of the teacher’s highlighter pen.