“Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man.” — Benjamin Franklin
“Good resolutions are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they have no account.”- Oscar Wilde
DROP POUNDS! LUSTROUS HAIR, GLOWING SKIN, SHINY COAT! THE NEW YOU!
It seems that a column at this time of year should begin such a way, only to disappoint as surely as we do ourselves come March at best.
Yet we feel compelled, somewhat admirably, to use the turn of the year as a catalyst on the voyage of self-discovery and fulfillment which is apparently just around the corner. The curious mingling of optimism and guilt can, of course, be channeled to great ends beyond tokenism (I’ll never drink again/ chocolate is a thing of the past etc).
Better, though, to look at some more realistic ways in which we can collectively aspire to better.
As such, I thought it may be interesting to add a list of resolutions, with what I refer to as New Year’s Evolutions; hopefully more viable, useful and less angst-inducing. In keeping with most of these pieces, I have no qualifications relevant to the spurious advice below. As is, the fact that this finds you some week plus after likely speaks volumes, for me at least.
EXERCISE
Resolution- Run marathon/ scale Mount Kilimanjaro/ become olympic standard triathlete/ yoga master
Evolution- Get a new program at the gym, and go sufficiently to justify the exorbitant membership fees. Go for a walk more often.
DETOX
Resolution- Purge the body of all toxins with a rigorous program of fruit juices, pulses, and raw vegetables for the year.
Evolution- Drink a glass of water on rising each morning. Maybe followed by hot water with lemon and manuka honey.
DIET
Resolution- Zero carb, high protein and fibre. Remove the need for supplements. Prepare the family’s food fresh, from scratch, daily.
Evolution- Less cake.
DRINK
Resolution- Teetotal, save for a glass of fizz at one of 3 weddings or major social events over the course of the year.
Evolution- Don’t finish the bottle just because it’s open. Less epics. Coconut water for the morning after.
INTELLECT
Resolution- Learn one new language and one life skill to exceptional standard.
Evolution- Read a book, or listen to the radio rather than watching poor TV which only serves to annoy you.
PARENTING
Resolution- Develop holistic parenting style which simultaneously nourishes while disciplining progeny, creating empathetic, well-balanced geniuses. Translate envy and awe of other parents into global book franchise.
Evolution- Go to the park/ gallery/ museum and read an extra story at night-time every now and then. Blank the emails and social media for half an hour for a chat.
STYLE
Resolution- Redefine yourself with new capsule collection which is simultaneously timeless and now. Throw out anything you haven’t worn in a fortnight. Be size -2.
Evolution- Avoid clothing with visible signs of sick or food on. Treat yourself in the sales. A little.
PHILANTHROPY
Resolution- Set up an orphanage or fund cure of significant illness by year’s end.
Evolution- Don’t feel so bad not to stop at every chugger you see. Choose a charity or two and become a member/ donate a little monthly (I’d suggest Amnesty International or a cancer charity, but there will be ones which make sense).
LIFE GOALS
Resolution- Become the embodiment of all you aspire to. Strive for the exceptional in all things, at all times. Accept nothing but the best.
Evolution- Be a little kinder where you can. Aspire to better. Don’t beat yourself up.