Half Woman, Half Biscuit

Having very much the English Rose type of complexion (and by that I mean pasty), I am a seasoned user of fake tan. I’m not after a dramatic effect, I just know that if I have to bare any limbs, I feel more confident if they are not ghostly white.

This year, the ones I’ve tried are better than ever. The smell is improving (although there is still the odd whiff of digestive biscuit), the shades are more natural – and the application is easier, thanks to improved formulations and the prevalence of mitts with the products. These mitts are excellent and I thoroughly recommend them – they make streaks an occasional accident rather than par for the course. Here are my top five tanners for this summer.

Yon-KaI have yet to try anything by Yon-Ka that I didn’t like, and their Self-Tanning Body Milk (£29) is no exception. It’s an oh-so-subtle, paraben free lotion containing vegetable glycerin, shea butter and rice oil – and it’s gentle and hydrating enough to take right up over your face.

LoveaEqually nasty-free is French brand Lovea’s Organic Self-tanning Spray (£12.49). I took this on holiday last week and had a quick spritz on my legs every other morning. It really doesn’t smell and is such a light, golden colour you can build it up gradually. Good value too.

He-Shi  Gels are a great consistency for fake tan as there’s no drippage. He-Shi’s Face & Body Tanning Gel (£17.50) is my new favourite when I need an instant hit of colour. Instead of having that dirty ‘guide’ colour, it gives an instant glow, but then the gradual colour builds underneath.

Cocoa Brown I was a bit dubious about Cocoa Brown’s One Hour Tan Mousse (£7.99) to start with. One hour, how was this possible? It also seemed worryingly cheap. And in a pink can. But d’you know what? It does develop in an hour. And it’s amazing – a really lovely colour that lasts for about a week. I thoroughly recommend.

Xen Tan Finally, Xen Tan. This is really wonderful stuff – think back to Duo Tan in the Eighties and rejoice at how far we have come. The Luminous Gold Gel (£24.99) goes on like a silky, coconut scented dream, dries instantly, then reveals a shimmery golden tan in about three hours, which lasts a week. I was almost moved.

Get your mitts ready – it’s safe to come out now.

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